Artwork: “Age” by The Estrella Moon Workshop ©
“If I stop counting the number of times I revolve around the sun, will I still be eligible for my pension.” – FAQ, Galactic Retirement Agency
Approximately two hundred thousand years ago, a grunting ape sat under the canopy of the celestial night sky and opened its eyes for the first time. Grasping two medium sized rocks… it began to bang them together.
This was the beginning of the modern Earth ape.
From that point onward the apes developed more and more sophisticated conceptions such as the wheel, the spear, metallurgy and farming.
They awoke to the great dawn of civilisation, yawned, stretched and then began to contemplate their own existence and the world in which they found themselves.
Science, politics, engineering and philosophy developed within their bony skulls and together they rapidly began to ascend the ladder of evolution.
The wheel of the ape’s development was now set in motion. The automobile, sliced bread, liberty, HD TV, the Bunsen burner, rocket ships, pocket calculators, particle accelerators, vaccines, refrigerators, democracy, pizza, sun-cream, the electric guitar, windmills, treadmills, chess, light bulbs, equality, emojis, toothpaste, fibre-optic broadband, Low fat yoghurt, human rights legislation, quantum mechanics, conservation and satellite navigation.
So what’s next? What unimaginable concept is the human race about to discover?
By looking through the planetary internet, a clue to the next level of enlightenment appears – the humans are about to grasp the concept of ageing.
Every day, links to important stories alerting people to the fact that a once well-known celebrity has changed in appearance from how they looked 20 to 30 years ago are hurriedly sent out to the public.
The journalist, honourably fights daily to make sure the human population is aware of this mind-boggling and stunning news and scamper to send this important information out to the masses. And there are hundreds, if not thousands, of celebrities that have aged since 20 years ago.
Unbeknownst to most of the planet, there are even images of celebrities from 30 years ago who have aged by a remarkable 30 years since!
However, the authors of these stories are quick to warn the readers of the shocking images they are about to witness, to lessen the distress.
Once witnessing these astounding images, the ape’s mind will no doubt slowly begin the put the pieces together.
Have you ever wondered where all of the old people come from?
Not only the revelation that these people were actually once younger, the apes will now slowly join the dots and realise to their horror, that this ‘ageing’ thing is going to happen (and has indeed already been happening) to them.
It will explain the reason why their faces have slowly began to wrinkle like an old peach. The greying of the hair. The drooping of the skin. It will all begin to make sense.
If the human apes can survive past this next discovery, if they can persevere and come to accept this new fandangled “ageing” thing and If the fabric of their society can hold together in these new enlightening times, then who knows what the race may accomplish?
Until next time, keep evolving!