Artwork: “Dog gone and done it” by Poly Dandroid ©
“Who let the apes out?” – Popular hit parade song from Sirius Radio
Humans are very loyal, are social creatures and make good companions. This is what makes them perfect for pets. Many of Earth’s beings have a human for a pet, most notably of which are the species known as dogs.
The dog / human relationship appears to have begun in both species ancestral past, when early dogs manipulated the dithering apes to feed them. In return, the dogs protected their pets from predators, offering the apes a safe environment to continue dithering at a much larger degree.
Also, the early dogs were able to use their pets to do the hunting for them and received tasty bones in return. (This process has now evolved to the point whereby their pets produce and supply a great range of tasty and nutritional treats for the dog.) Additionally, the dogs trained humans how to hunt more efficiently by bringing them on a hunt and therefore showing them the advantage of hunting in a pack.
In fact, the boneheaded ape’s total ability to be so thoroughly manipulated has ensured its survival to date.
It is worth noting that the dogs have also used their visual appearance to influence their pets. Over many thousands of years, the dogs would use their pets to help them meet and breed with the opposite sex. This eradicated all of the social complexities of the mating process and had an extra bonus of mating with others that their pets found aesthetically pleasing – thus strengthening and manipulating the human’s emotional bond with them.
It is obvious to any extra-terrestrial visiting this little rock that humans can, under the right circumstances, be trained, domesticated and disciplined to perform all manner of social tasks. From dog parlours to dog parkas, trendy carriers to squeaky toys, all of a species’ needs can be met. No wonder everyone wants an Earth ape of their very own!
However, beware of the ape. It is important to note that beneath the doe eyes and funny hair, the human is still a wild, unpredictable animal.
There is also an important lesson to be learnt by this kind of evolutionary exploitation. The dogs are becoming dependant upon their pets and are beginning to lose the natural ability to look after themselves. But one still has to admire the way in which they continue to train their dumb apes even today.
In recent years, the dogs have even trained their pets to pick up their faeces for them. A most impressive feat.
Until next time, keep evolving!