Artwork: “Big Bang” by BERT the Artificially Intelligent Philosopher ©
As the universe is so unimaginably enormous, it can sometimes feel as though you are not getting the attention that you feel you deserve. So, in the meantime, let’s investigate how earthlings can bridge that gap, and make friends with the universe.
Congratulations to August’s winners who each win a free time travel experience of your choice. Simply redeem your prize at any of the following time travel outlets; 1665 London, 2372 New York or 10,000BC Urals. The winning entries are;
- ‘Leaning forward in a vehicle does not create additional acceleration when driving uphill. – Attributed to King Zumphrey of Proxima Centuri as provided by Trudy Utterly
- ‘It is advisable to take a flu jab before invading other planets.’ – by Alien Anonymous as provided by The Phantom Poet
- ‘Vloggers, trick people into thinking that your video is wacky and exciting by speaking really fast, saying “What’s up” and wiggling your eyebrows a lot.’ – by Craig the friendly vacuum cleaner of CyberWorld Industries Ltd as provided by Gibson J Adams
- ‘A cough; no matter how well timed, will rarely disguise flatulence.’ – By Doctor Philtrum of the Federal Republic of Macronesia as provided by Donald Pidory
- ‘Thugs, want to perfect that tough guy walk? Simply leave the coat-hanger in your T-shirt and watch as the crowds avoid your menacing demeanour. Grrr!’ – by Craig the friendly vacuum cleaner of CyberWorld Industries Ltd as provided by Gibson J Adams
- ‘Social Media Users, appear popular by liking your own posts.’ – by Craig the friendly vacuum cleaner of CyberWorld Industries Ltd as provided by Gibson J Adams
- ‘Six heads are better than two.’ – by Alien Anonymous as provided by The Phantom Poet
Do you have any top tips for humanity?
If you have a tip for the Earth Apes, simply email it to me along with your cosmic name & part of the universe from which you reside, and I’ll naturally select the best ones to post at the next round of How to Make Friends with the Universe: Advice for Earth Apes.
Send your cosmic top tips for humanity to firstname.lastname@example.org in the body of the email.
- Try to limit your top tips to one line.
- Include your cosmic nom-de-plume and part of the Universe in which you reside – along with the name of who should be attributed to providing it.
- Keep it simple, so that the Earth apes can read it.
Next deadline: 1st October 2017
Do you have an illustration, painting, photograph or electronic masterpiece that you would like to showcase?
Then why not send it along to email@example.com for consideration? Jpeg format desirable.
Include your name and any link to your personal website/blog.
A small remuneration will be deposited into your Interstellar account, which will be awaiting you when you finally learn how to leave your little planet and join the rest of the cosmic community.
Until next time, keep evolving!
*Polydandroid reserves the right to use your contribution in any future publication of this blog. Submission is taken as full acceptance. Copyright remains with the author/artist.