Artwork: “A.I.” by BERT the Artificially Intelligent Philosopher ©
As the universe is so unimaginably enormous, it can sometimes feel as though you are not getting the attention that you feel you deserve. So, in the meantime, let’s investigate how earthlings can bridge that gap, and make friends with the universe.
Congratulations to February’s winners who each win a free cosmic mind-reading from Madame Zelda of Zubenelgenubi 7. Listen out for your fortune whilst facing in the direction of the constellation Libra next Zonday at 27 o’clock. The winning entries are;
- ‘To avoid forgetting people’s names, only make friends with people who share the same name as you.’ – by Alien Anonymous as provided by The Phantom Poet
- ‘Always late to work? Slept in again? To save valuable time in the mornings, simply get dressed before you go to bed.’ – by Brian the dysfunctional microwave oven of CyberWorld Industries Ltd as provided by Gibson J Adams
- ‘Get more out of your toilet paper by using both sides.’ – By Doctor Whom the Time Traffic Warden as provided by Julien Roussel
- ‘Annoyed by sales calls? Movie night keeps getting interrupted by that friend that wants a chat? Dinner’s gone cold again because of that relative’s incessant phoning? Then change your answering message to intermittently stating okay, uhuh, sounds interesting, uhuh, uhuh, uhuh, really? Uhuh, okay, okay, uhum, oh really, uhuh, okay. And then listen back to your conversations at a more convenient time.’ – Captain Tiberius Jerk of the Millennial Saucepan as provided by Derek Forward
- ‘Waiters, to avoid any negative responses, wait until your diners have a mouthful of food before asking them if everything is alright with their meal.’ – by Patty the pernickety portable kettle of CyberWorld Industries Ltd as provided by Gibson J Adams
Do you have any top tips for humanity?
If you have a tip for the Earth Apes, simply email it to me along with your cosmic name & part of the universe from which you reside, and I’ll naturally select the best ones to post at the next round of How to Make Friends with the Universe: Advice for Earth Apes.
Send your cosmic top tips for humanity to firstname.lastname@example.org in the body of the email.
- Try to limit your top tips to one line.
- Include your cosmic nom-de-plume and part of the Universe in which you reside – along with the name of who should be attributed to providing it.
- Keep it simple, so that the Earth apes can read it.
Next deadline: 1st April 2018
Do you have an illustration, painting, photograph or electronic masterpiece that you would like to showcase?
Then why not send it along to email@example.com for consideration? Jpeg format desirable.
Include your name and any link to your personal website/blog.
A small remuneration will be deposited into your Interstellar account, which will be awaiting you when you finally learn how to leave your little planet and join the rest of the cosmic community.
Until next time, keep evolving!
*Polydandroid reserves the right to use your contribution in any future publication of this blog. Submission is taken as full acceptance. Copyright remains with the author/artist.