How to Make Friends with the Universe: Advice for Earth’s Apes December 2016

galacticgentlemensmagazineArtwork: “Galactic Gentlemen’s Companion Magazine” by The Estrella Moon Workshop ©

As the universe is so unimaginably enormous, it can sometimes feel as though you are not getting the attention that you feel you deserve. So, in the meantime, Let’s investigate how earthlings can bridge that gap, and make friends with the universe.

Congratulations to December’s winners who each receive two free tickets to this year’s Intergalactic Variety Performance at the Adelphi Theatre on Proxima Centuri b. Please collect your tickets in person at the venue’s box office up to 45 solar minutes before the start of the show. The winning entries are;

  • ‘Alone? Want to meet new and interesting people? Searching for that special someone? Then simply build a spaceship and visit hundreds of other solar systems just like yours, today!’ – by the Astronomical Dating Agency as provided by Lynda Di Dopro
  • ‘Reuse hyperboloid cooling towers to make attractive plant pots. Not only will it make your countryside more appealing, but it will also help save your planet’s atmosphere too!’ – from the Galactic Housekeeper’s Magazine as provided by Miss Jolly Holistics
  • ‘To prevent hangovers, avoid drinking drinks that have alcohol in them.’ – by Doctor Philtrum of the Federal Republic of Macronesia as provided by Donald Pidory
  • ‘Recycle unused warheads to make attractive bird feeders.’ – from the Galactic Housekeeper’s Magazine as provided by Miss Jolly Holistics
  • ‘To ensure the survival of your species, avoid electing idiots as your leaders.’ – Adam Atom of The Quantum States as provided by John-Paul Matin
  • ‘Bring new life into old battleships by using them as attractive planters.’ – from the Galactic Housekeeper’s Magazine as provided by Miss Jolly Holistics


Do you have any top tips for humanity?

If you have a tip for the Earth Apes, simply email it to me along with your cosmic name & part of the universe from which you reside, and I’ll naturally select the best ones to post at the next round of How to Make Friends with the Universe: Advice for Earth Apes.

Send your cosmic top tips for humanity to in the body of the email.

Submission Guidelines;

  • Try to limit your top tips to one line.
  • Include your cosmic nom-de-plume and part of the Universe in which you reside – along with the name of who should be attributed to providing it.
  • Keep it simple, so that the Earth apes can read it.


Next deadline: 4th February 2017

Art submissions

Do you have an illustration, painting, photograph or electronic masterpiece that you would like to showcase?

Then why not send it along to for consideration? Jpeg format desirable.

Include your name and any link to your personal website/blog.

A small remuneration will be deposited into your Interstellar account, which will be awaiting you when you finally learn how to leave your little planet and join the rest of the cosmic community.


Until next time, keep evolving!


*Polydandroid reserves the right to use your contribution in any future publication of this blog. Submission is taken as full acceptance. Copyright remains with the author/artist.